Life's a circle

I was alone
and my train was late that night
I saw a crumpled man blinded by the life
that he treated himself to
Crippled from the nights
receiving endless beatings
that even a house couldn't endure
Palm raised skyward
his meager belongings collected on the floor
Singing songs to no one about nothing
but crying because they mean so much
It's these babblings
that keep his life going
keep the nickels flowing deep into his cup
There we both were framed
in awkward silence
and I was in his living room
invading his trust
He finally said to me
that he had one last cigarette to smoke
and it was time to give it up
But he laughed and added
he wasn't sure which to give up
his life or the habit
He said "it's my habits
that made my fingers weak
when my chances came I couldn't grab it
But it's my life that made it hard
and when my opportunities were there for free
I chose my habits"
I half smiled
and offered the most empathetic nod
that I could conjure up
and said "I hear you brother
I've got problems too
but words won't fill your cup
I've got responsibilities to face
and they're woven tight to my dreams
I've got more bills to pay
than I have time
and I'm starting to rip at the seems
I've got a plan
and I know that if I stick to it
I can accomplish happiness
I've got goals that beat my will
and lately it's been hard to accept the challenge"

And he said "Man, that's God talking to you
and I don't know why you can't see
You're so blind
that you can't spare to make change
because all your focus is on "M-E"
All wrapped up in your own skin
that you can't help
set an old man free
I've been in your shoes before
it feels like it was yesterday
if not at all
My existence has been a blink
and for the life of me
I can't remember what I saw"

That made so much sense to me
even though I convinced myself
that he was totally insane
I bent over and lit his cigarette
and told him to mind his own business
Because I was just waiting for my train
He said "I've been waiting here forever
just dying in my skin
and the only reason you`re living life
is because your curious
what'll happen in the end"
"That might be true
but why should I pay my hard earned attention
to vagabond doctrine
If you've got so much knowledge to give
why not treat yourself to what you're offering
You probably have lived a hard life
and I apologize
but I have my own problems
that you couldn't understand
just like a lot of guys
Now, here's a couple bucks
go buy yourself whatever makes you happy
Even though I've promised myself
to never pay for you
to make my city look trashy"
He refused the money
and sat there singing songs of love and hate
I crammed the change in my pocket
called him a lunatic
and went on with my wait
As I stood there hovering near his tiny frame
I could feel his eyes judging me sadly
It's as if he had to convince me
that my life was on the wrong track
and I needed it badly
I said "hey old man
your cigarettes all smoked up
it's time for you to leave"
He looked at the trail of ash
on his shirt and smiled
as if it gave him some sort of relief
He propped himself up
collected his life and got prepared
to become one with the night
He turned around
and wished me luck with all my plans
and said something about
learning to walk before I ran
Before I knew it he was out of my sight
and I had already forgotten his reasonings
I could hear my train coming
and home was on my mind
not his cryptic meanings
Another traveler was on the platform
and for some reason he was running towards me
All I could see was his eyes
but it's his words
that will always stick with me
Through his heavy breaths he asked
if I had just spent time with the old man
I nodded in affirmation
and tried to calm him
so he could tell me why he ran

And he said: Man, that was God talking to you
how could you not see
That was God talking right to your face
trying to hand you the keys
He was right here
and I can't understand
why you chose to make him leave
He just died in my arms
right outside the station
and said you were his only friend
He begged me to tell you about his life
make you see the light, give you your chance again

I cringed at the reality
that was facing me
I told the man I had no time for this
and on my way I had to be
Right about that time my train pulled up
and I made my escape
I sat in the empty plastic seat
and held tight to my fate
That was decades ago
and now I sit singing on my own platform
My belongings stowed tightly in my bags
handing out my sad sad songs
And I say "it's my habits
that make my fingers weak
when my chances come I can't grab them
But it's my life that makes it hard
and when my opportunities are there for free
I choose my habits"
I have no responsibilities
and as a result I no longer need my dreams
I don't have any bills to pay
it's like I'm free
but I'm really in captivity
I don't have any plans
except to just sit here
and try and weather the storm
I wish I had goals
but if I had those
then I wouldn't be here
warning you on my platform
Singing train songs

(Listener, Train Song)